I feel a bit sick.
Maybe it’s the fringe flu.
Maybe it’s the way Adam Lazarus is nonchantly telling us about the time he (or his character, ‘The Father’) had an affair with a sixteen year old. And broke her eye socket during sex.
Maybe it’s the way he ever so cutely dances to the Lego movie theme ‘Everything is Awesome’ in fairy wings like his daughter, before unleashing the stories of his encounters with women, most of which end in a not-so-nice way.
Maybe it’s because an older couple have just walked out, an air of ‘I’ve had enough’.
Maybe it’s because I want to walk out, too, but I also want to sit through to the end in case I miss anything vital.
Maybe it’s because I don’t know whether to be laughing or crying.
Maybe it’s because a show about toxic masculinity in the wake of #MeToo is being performed by a male.
Maybe it’s because I don’t know if what’s happening is a script, or onstage therapy, and even if it is a script the scenarios in it are still very very real to some. Knowing that sends shivers down my spine.
There’s something sickening about Daughter, something about the way that it’s told, making you question parenting methods in a new way; how a smack on the bottom isn’t just light punishment but a palm print of years of masculine dominance imprinting on the new generation.
It’s not my favourite piece. I know a lot of people are divided on it (is that a good thing?). But it has been whirring around in my mind since I saw it, even now as I sit on a crowded central line tube with a man opposite me, legs spread reading a newspaper.